youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
