nut hugger
my phone needs a breathalizer
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
