Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
