Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
