Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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