I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
