you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
