DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
