She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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