another moral hangover. fuck.
My balls are so social today.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
