Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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