Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
