PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
