everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
