He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
