your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
