the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
