I think scott just propositioned me for sex
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ttyl tear gas
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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