At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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