There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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