The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
