She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
