don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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