we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
