just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
so much tequila, so little girl.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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