my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
