We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
