New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
