turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
