The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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