Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize