Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
