chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize