Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
