I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
