After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
