If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize