but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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