Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
