Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
