farters have to be the big spoon...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
