Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
