im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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