Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Found the puke drawer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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