Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
