why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
