Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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