Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
