Who did Billy Mays play for?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
