if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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