I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
