Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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