dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
