Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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