i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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