Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize