sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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