I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
