Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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