It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize