yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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