so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
