the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
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I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How naked do you want me to be?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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